Switzerland

I don’t know why, but I have a habit of going on my long runs right before a road trip.  10 mile run Wednesday morning followed by a 5 hour drive to Crans-Montana Switzerland (Crans pronounced Crawh?…huh?…ok, just go with it).  Cousins Larry and Merilee were skiing the Alps this week and so graciously agreed to take me for drinks and dinner and stash me overnight in their European sized second room (a.k.a. Merilee’s closet).  Oh and what a lovely time and a lovely drive.  But, because you know me, this incredible trip was not without incident….

Yes, yes.  I ran for almost two hours then hopped in a car to drive for almost 5.  The resulting sensation of this brilliant stoke of genius was something I can only assume feels like rigor mortis.  After billy goating it up the cliff to Crans-Montana, Switzerland and Frankensteining it out of my soapbox inspired automobile I was greeted by a fashion show of snow covered ski boots and ice skates.   Ahhh,  bella.  All the stress just melted away, even in sub zero temperature.

Ok, I found their hotel and hoisted myself into a chair in their cozy cabin style bar.  Now, I was faced with the task of figuring out how to greet these models.  Think fast: What language do they speak in Switzerland.  Answer: Ok, that was a trick question.  French, German, Italian and ?Romansh? (again, just go with it) are all spoken there.  To further complicate things, Francesco from Italy, Ricardo from Venezuela and Anna from France served us dinner.  Appetizers were served, “Grazie”.  Oops, that was Anna.  Dinner, “Gracias”.  Crap that was Francesco.  Dessert, “Merci”. Ricardo !@#$. Larry, you’ll have to remind me of the name of the owner of 15 years that seems to be there night and day and doubles well as a sommelier.  Oh, and the name of the potato side dish from the region.

Ahh, but what a great evening…and we wake up to snow.  Ohh, pretty snow…in the Alps…in a ski town.  Now, a smart person would have thought ahead to what this new development meant to his or her near future…billy goat what?  (Random tangent #1: Chocolate…Per cousin Larry and Merilee, the Swiss make milk and dark chocolate in every combination of cocoa imaginable…AND, Nestle was not far from us, but, as fate have it, Nestle and I were not to meet on this fretful day.)  So I skip all of my planned shopping excursions and give a sideways glare to the rented Deathtrap.  Took me one hour to white knuckle it down the cliff to the highway when I realize the snow has Shut down my original route back to the safety of lower elevations.  So there I am, rubbernecking round and round the roundabout confirming my suspicions that they won’t let me on.  But…but….w.e.l.l….I guess we’ll go the other direction.

Where AM I?  One detour, and 3 mad dashes through traffic into the fast approaching exits till I find myself between Switzerland and Italy through the city of St. Bernard on a pass that was engineered by Satan himself.  Snow pack, 8% grade, 5 ft. wide lanes, semi’s, plows, spin out's, oh, right, and cars with 4-wheel drive crawling up my tailpipe.  Arrghhh.  Is that a.. no,    it is,     an X5.  wimper, wimper.  I miss my car.  (Note to self: never..tailgate..someone..in..a..lesser..vehicle). 

One red bull, three hours and exactly 5 visceral reactions later I drove into a tunnel...

God makes tunnels.  22 euros/francs…who do I pay?  I’ll pay it twice and kiss you on the forehead.  +4 Celsius on the other end of that one.  I don’t care if it was +1, the fact was it was above freezing and slushy.  I love slush.  I love tunnels.  I love Italy…. 

So I make it home, out of gas, out of adrenaline and out of energy.  In the words of my mother, “Are we having fun yet?”

Ooh, ooh.  Swiss border.  Did you see it?

 

Indiana Jones tunnel

Where is that Matterhorn peak?

Is that...?

Just missed it

Mooove... trees.

Ha ha. There it is

There it is

There it is

   

There it is 

WT...?

Valley